it just hurt sometimes | Original Poem by Shaye Patton



 

 

it just hurts sometimes

 

 

i've tried so hard

to be there

for You

i've tried so hard

to understand

for You

 

it was just us

no Her

no Them

then it was gone

 

You've surpassed me

sociably

academically

even through love

 

although i'm proud

more proud then,

ever imaginable

more proud then,

ever understandable

 

but, it just hurts sometimes.

 

i've tried so hard

to be there

for You

i've tried so hard

to understand

for You

 

yet, You won't talk

to me

You won't let

me in

 

but, it just hurts sometimes.

 

i know i'm behind

sociably

academically

and through love

 

but, I am still here

for you

I will always be here

for you

 

so, it just hurts sometimes.

 

when You won't talk

to me

You won't let

me in

 

 

 

 

Your Eyes | Original Poem by Shaye Patton

 

 

 

Your Eyes

 

 

 

 

I long for that glance

a look

one moment with no words

just

your eyes

 

 

your eyes

telling a story

the way they light up

like a million stars

 

 

I could stare in their deep color

endlessly

with glints of laughter,

passion,

sadness

 

your eyes

The Struggle is Real | Trying to Balance Life | RandomnessOfShaye

How does Beyonce do it?

She is truely a goddess, an angle sent from above with the power to be Fierce, Fabulous and Successful with the same 24 hours a day I have. See I have the same hopes and dreams as any 18 year old girl to be as AH-MAZING as Beyonce, but quite frankly I can't figure out how she does it.

I currently have alot going on in my life right now:
School
Family
Friends
Netflix
Fitness
Dance
Extra Cirricuculars
Nutella Consumption
This Blog
YouTube
Sleep

As you can see they are all equally as important and awesome!

So recently, as in the past 2 weeks, I've struggled to do everything I need to do. Mainly involving my YouTube channel.

Now my channel is pretty much my baby, currently it's the type of baby that cries alot and isn't potty trained yet. And although that was a really bad comparison, it's kind of true.

I LOVE to make videos, but I hate editing(and I'm really bad at it too), therefore I tend to record videos, but never upload any. On top of that my camera is P-O-O-P! So I've been recently just using my webcam, which is only slightly better quality. AND on top of ALL that, I feel like I never have time!

Now at this point you're probably thinking," Like OMG stahp complaining, if you don't like it don't do it!!!"

But, think again!

See I'm writing about all the bad things so they can be fixed.

I tend to talk alot about what I want to do and how I'm going to do it, but I feel like although I put forth some effort, it's never enough.

So after watching, the very inspiring Disney Film, 'The Princess&The Frog'  I've realized I need to work harder. Tiana didn't get her restaurant by just wishing she had one, but by working for it.

Which is why I am going to start working to organize my life in a healthy balance where I have time for both YouTube and Friday Night Football games with my friends. I've also to put all the money I saved this summer towards a new Camera, instead of shoes.

I think that sometimes we all need to take a step back and look at how we manage our time. Although Netflix is lovely, getting outside and going for a jog can be just as nice.

So this week I challenge you to take a look at your life. Is there anything you want to focus on more? Anything you should not spend so much time on?

With that moment of self-reflection, I'm going to sign off because I'm actually in Computer Class right now.

Until next time, Stay Random!!!
                - Shaye

P.S

Update on last weeks "Little Changes":
I've been sleeping more, but on on the weekends. As for everything else... I'm just going to restart them. I kind of failed. ;)

21 Days of New Habits | RandomnessOfShaye

When I woke up this morning I had all the intentions to blog about school, and how so far senior year is starting to look up for me. Turns out that stepping out of my comfort zone has presented me with alot of great opportunities. Although it would make a pretty good blog post, I think it would make an even better YouTube video. Which is why I'll be recording that tomorrow afternoon.

At this point, I was pretty stoked that I had a video idea for this week, I was also bummed because I was now at a lost for a blog idea. Until I thought about school.

See in exactly one month I will have to participate in my school's Senior Ring Day Ceremony and in one month and two weeks I will be attending my senior homecoming dance.  Although these are both really exciting, I have one small problem.  Currently I am currently not feeling my absolute best on the whole "Confidence Spectrum" of things.

See, I'm currently a bit chubby in the middle. Now, before you start going on some crazy rant about "body confidence and loving who you are". CHILL. I'm not calling myself fat or saying that I hate my body, all I'm saying is I want to be a bit fitter.

Now, for the most part I try to lead a fairly healthy lifestyle. I eat decently(but I am guilty to eating a bit too much of nutella and french bread), I exercise regularly and I attempt to listen to my body when rest is needed. To be honest these things have showed positive results for my body. Just in the past month I lost five pounds, but I also feel that I could do a bit better.

I'm not looking for some crash diet to partake in before homecoming, but simply to create some new, better habits for myself. Given the fact that research says that it takes 21 days to form a habit, I should be well set before my schools formal.

Therefore here are a few small changes that I'm going to try to make everyday:

1) Stretch/ Yoga for at least 30 min. ( I am a dancer and honestly it'll not only help my performance but will prevent injury)

2) Keep track of water intake (I normally only drink water but I do feel that sometimes I drink WAY too much or WAY too little, So i'd like to regulate that)

3) Go to bed an hour earlier ( I need more beauty rest)

4) Eat more fruit&veggies, less bread ( Like most, I LOVE bread and although I LOVE fruit too, I don't think I eat nearly enough)

5) Read More ( although I love the internet I do think it's really helpful to relax without social media and just snuggle with a good book)

6) Dink more tea ( tea makes everything better)

So with these few habits, I think that by the time Homecoming rolls around I will not only be Fitter, Healthier but also Happier. And honestly just the best Me I can be. 

So with that I encourage you to try to make little changes in your day that will lead you to a better YOU!

Until next time, Stay Random

Shaye

Lovin' Life | RandomnessOfShaye

Ever have those lovely moments of perfect clarity when you realize how wonderful life is?

Well I had one of those moments this weekend. Honestly, all weekend.

This weekend started Friday with my high-school's first football game of the season. I arrived early to help paint some of the guy's chest with our school's color and some of the football player's names. At first I was pretty nervous because I kinda get really shy sometimes and I didn't want to be aco-taco in front of a bunch of handsome shirtless guys! To my surprise, I actually was pretty fabulous( if I do say so myself)!!! I wasn't shy or awkward AND I actually got to paint this super gorgeous guy and I even had a lovely chat with him. I guess you could say I blossomed, came out of my shell, transformed into a social butterfly!

oh. and my highschool actually won the football game. Which NEVER happens!

As for Saturday. Well I didn't do much except have a nice little cuddle with my dogs because I didn't quite feel well.

On the bright side my dad, who's work requires him to be on the road for 2 weeks at a time, was able to come home this weekend. So he arrived on Saturday night so that was lovely, because I really miss him when he's away.

Sunday was quite lovely. The day consisted of my family, my pool, a good book, and BBQ. It was the first day in about a week where it wasn't extremely hot out and wasn't raining. So the weather was perfect, at least according to Louisiana standards.

Today. Well first of all it's Monday and I don't have school! So that's awesome!

Pretty much today has been a day of tiding, hanging with the fambam and catching up on my internet duties(making videos,blogging, and watching British YouTubers).

For the most part the weekend has been pretty chill, nothing that exciting, but I think that's why it made me so happy. I just love the fact, that normally when I am happiest it's in the moments that are just averagely beautiful. Spending time with family, reading a good book, or just watching YouTube videos.

I suppose that it truly is the little things that are most important.

With that, I leave you with some pictures from my weekend :)


Until next time, stay random
                     Shaye

me and my mum before the football game

some of my friends

the game

I didn't mention my friend's and I new obsession was the new avatar app, but my bestie Maddie made this of  us. I have the flower crown, Maddie has Pikachu

Majestic photo of a float in my pool

my pool

dad BBQing 

The really good book I was reading. Super cute, fun read

another majestic picture of my pool

THE END ;)

Infinite |Original Poem by Shaye Patton

Infinite



A thousand faces pass me everyday
They come in pairs

crowds

alone.

All being an infinite number of worlds away

no one being truly alike.

Yet, an overwhelming sense of emotion flows

through all veins

pulsing with anxiety

A sense of unknown

Unknown of the past

present

future.

All with an infinite amount of possibilities

Advice from a Handsome College Guy | Starting Senior Year

This is the last night of my 2014 summer vacation.

 Although I am pretty bummed that I will no longer be able to sleep to twelve in the morning and wear pajamas all day, I am kinda looking forward to this school year.  SENIOR YEAR. Aren't we suppose to be excited? 

Well to be quite honest, before about 11:00 this morning I wasn't as excited as most of my fellow 2015 graduates.  

See this past summer this looming,dark,frightening thought has been in the back of my head. WHAT COMES AFTER HIGH-SCHOOL? Although I talked about similar subjects in a previous blog,and attempted to overcome it, I still had doubt about my confidence in the subject.

I feel like senior year it finally starts to sink in that life is about to really happen, and you are in full control. There are other variables at play but in the end every decision you make takes you on a new path in life. I mean, it's a lot to handle.

But, like I said in my previous blog, I don't have much time to waste on being scared. So I have made attempts at trying to do things that I feel set me in the right direction for what I want in life, like this blog and my YouTube channel.  Even after that, thinking about senior year and life after high school was like walking into the abyss of unknown.

Until today, at approximately 11:00 am.

My friend who graduated about two years ago  just recently was hired where I work for the summer until he goes back to university at the end of the month. Over the past week that I've had the pleasure of working with him, he has given me some of the best advice I have ever received. 

1. Drama ends in high school, so avoid it 

2. If you're looking for love, you're never going to find it

3. Go with the flow and have fun

4. If you want something, don't stop working toward it, NO MATTER WHAT!

5. Bruno Mars makes everything a bit better

Now, I know that this advice is cliche and you've probably heard it thousands of times from your parents,grandparents,aunts,uncles, and cheesy 80s movies, and I know that these are all reliable sources for great advice, but for some reason it was different.  This advice being told from a 19 year old guy I went to high school with, for some reason, just resonated with me.

My friend, let's call him 'A' for the purposes of this blog(not that even knows this exist) 

My friend ,well, is average. Let me explain.

I was fortunate enough to enroll late my sophomore year and be scheduled in Fine Arts Survey, the only class left as an elective. Now, I was excited because I like art, but at my school only seniors take that class as a last resort for an art credit. This meant I was the only sophomore in a class full of seniors. Initially I was terrified but to my surprise that's when I first met 'A'. He was one of the first people who talked to me in that class. He has been one of the friendliest people I know, a social butterfly.

Now we weren't besties or anything but he was my friend.

'A' wound up dating one of my friends at the time, worked with him in theater productions, became friends with his younger brother, and now, I work with him.

From this you can see that he's just an average guy anyone would've gone to school with, apart from the fact that he is extremely handsome as well as extremely nice to lame sophomores(me), but apart from that he's just average.

But I think that is what's different from his advice. 

He isn't a grandparent whose had a lifetime of experiences to give that advice or an 80s movie which was written by a bunch of middle aged people who has had those same experiences.  

'A' is just young.

This is I think why his advice gave me more hope. He didn't need to wait a lifetime to no longer fear what comes next.  Leaving high-school was enough. 

Leaving high-school isn't the end of hopes and dreams for the future, it's the beginning of working for those hopes and dreams.

So as of 11:00 am this morning I have decided that I am excited for Senior year!

As of Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 7:22am I start working TOWARD what I want, NOT cowarding away.

And hopefully everything will work out. And maybe a year from now I will have discovered all of 'A's' advice and experiences for myself and encourage someone else to not fear the future but embrace it.

So with that I encourage you to take the advice given in this blog and maybe think about it every once in a while. Think about how letting go of drama could solve A LOT, think about how having fun in life is ah-mazing, think about your ambition,think about letting love find you not the other way around, and most of all, think about how much you LOVE Bruno Mars!

Well, until next time, STAY RANDOM!!!

                           -Shaye

PS

Sorry if I've been a bit repetitive, but this is the stuff on my mind, but I do have some other material planned, so stay tuned for some new topics. 

And if you follow me on YouTube I won't be uploading today because the footage was terrible so I have to re film this week.