your turn | Original poem by Shaye Patton

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

giving yourself away

to a world unkown

hidden behind fake smiles

and endless lies

 

with a social life

only visible

in the sense of a screen

 

with a long pipe

as your new friend

telling gossip

of "he said, she said"

 

you gave yourself away

 

with only a glint

of hope, and one turn

turn quick

before you reach the point

of no return



Everything Happens for a Reason | RandomShaye

With highschool graduation right around the corner, and college fast approaching, life hits you in the face and it all becomes real.

Since the sixth grade I had ,or I thought I had, my life after highschool all planned out.

I would attend a well regaurded University, such as Princeton or Havard, then while studying start to network in the entertaiment industry and BAM!
 I would become a succesful actress/ lawyer who would have her own talk show as well creating a charitable organization that bettered the world in some way.

But if I were to tell my counselors that they'd laugh in my face. And apart from that, my views have changed a bit.

Yes, I still want to be an actress and work in the "entertainment industry", I would still like to go to law school(believe it or not) and I will always want to make a positive make on the world, but I now understand that it isn't that easy.

Princeton  is never going to happen because I'm from the south, never stepped foot in a private school, and the highest I've gotten on my ACT is a 26.

Now not being able to go to Princeton isn't that big of a deal, there are other schools,but in general I get an overwhelming feeling when I think about life after highschool. Although, I will contiue strive to achieve my goals no matter what, I always have that fear that nothing will ever pan out and I'm going to fail.

What if I don't major in the right thing? What if I can never land a job in the industry? What if I don't get into law school? How can I work in the industry and go to law school? Why can't I pick one career like a normal person?

But then I stop and think about what my parents have told me for ages...

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

 Although, thousands upon thousands of positive and negative things happen to us in our lifetime, I do believe that all happen for a reason, even if it is negative. Throughout my mere 18 years of life, I have experienced a lot; at least I think I have. Although there are others in the world that have had more tragic experiences or have seen more success in life; I would never change anything that has happened to me. My past, every waking second, good or bad, has shaped who I am today. I know that 10 years I will probably be different,but the reason I grow and change is because of the things that has happened in my life.

A good, although cliché, example is the fact that my life and my family’s life was affected by hurricane Katrina. At the time all I wished for was for things to go back to normal. To have my house, my school, my friends back.

It was hard being uprooted at the age of 10 from everything I’ve ever known. I had to move to a new city, new state, and new school. My life started over. It was hard, no doubt, but looking back I’m oddly grateful Katrina hit my hometown.

There was a significant amount of tragedy and hardships, but without it I would have never left this town. Being forced to move, and loosing everything gave me a new appreciation for my life, the world around me, and what’s valuable to me.

 Therefore without that happening who knows who or where I’d be. The point being, that I do believe everything happens for a reason.

At first it might not be clear why, but in the end a person is the sum of their experiences.

 

Therefore, no matter what happens after highschool, it'll be ok. In the end veything will sort it self out.

 

Well I guess that's enough for this angsty, senior rant. I know I haven't written in a while, but senior year has been,like I said,overwhelming.

I am going to try to start writing more, and hopefully about non-school realated things. I'm going to try to start writing about other topics, but hopefully me sharing my "Senior Year" thoughts help.  I feel like I'm not alone on this one, I think alot of seniors struggle with "life after high school" so  if you've stumbled upon this blog, hopefully it's been helpful.

If you want to see more of my thoughts, views, and complete randomness about life checkout my YouTube Channel at www.youtube.com/randomnessofshaye

 

And until nextime, Stay Random

                                       -Shaye

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it just hurt sometimes | Original Poem by Shaye Patton



 

 

it just hurts sometimes

 

 

i've tried so hard

to be there

for You

i've tried so hard

to understand

for You

 

it was just us

no Her

no Them

then it was gone

 

You've surpassed me

sociably

academically

even through love

 

although i'm proud

more proud then,

ever imaginable

more proud then,

ever understandable

 

but, it just hurts sometimes.

 

i've tried so hard

to be there

for You

i've tried so hard

to understand

for You

 

yet, You won't talk

to me

You won't let

me in

 

but, it just hurts sometimes.

 

i know i'm behind

sociably

academically

and through love

 

but, I am still here

for you

I will always be here

for you

 

so, it just hurts sometimes.

 

when You won't talk

to me

You won't let

me in

 

 

 

 

Your Eyes | Original Poem by Shaye Patton

 

 

 

Your Eyes

 

 

 

 

I long for that glance

a look

one moment with no words

just

your eyes

 

 

your eyes

telling a story

the way they light up

like a million stars

 

 

I could stare in their deep color

endlessly

with glints of laughter,

passion,

sadness

 

your eyes

The Struggle is Real | Trying to Balance Life | RandomnessOfShaye

How does Beyonce do it?

She is truely a goddess, an angle sent from above with the power to be Fierce, Fabulous and Successful with the same 24 hours a day I have. See I have the same hopes and dreams as any 18 year old girl to be as AH-MAZING as Beyonce, but quite frankly I can't figure out how she does it.

I currently have alot going on in my life right now:
School
Family
Friends
Netflix
Fitness
Dance
Extra Cirricuculars
Nutella Consumption
This Blog
YouTube
Sleep

As you can see they are all equally as important and awesome!

So recently, as in the past 2 weeks, I've struggled to do everything I need to do. Mainly involving my YouTube channel.

Now my channel is pretty much my baby, currently it's the type of baby that cries alot and isn't potty trained yet. And although that was a really bad comparison, it's kind of true.

I LOVE to make videos, but I hate editing(and I'm really bad at it too), therefore I tend to record videos, but never upload any. On top of that my camera is P-O-O-P! So I've been recently just using my webcam, which is only slightly better quality. AND on top of ALL that, I feel like I never have time!

Now at this point you're probably thinking," Like OMG stahp complaining, if you don't like it don't do it!!!"

But, think again!

See I'm writing about all the bad things so they can be fixed.

I tend to talk alot about what I want to do and how I'm going to do it, but I feel like although I put forth some effort, it's never enough.

So after watching, the very inspiring Disney Film, 'The Princess&The Frog'  I've realized I need to work harder. Tiana didn't get her restaurant by just wishing she had one, but by working for it.

Which is why I am going to start working to organize my life in a healthy balance where I have time for both YouTube and Friday Night Football games with my friends. I've also to put all the money I saved this summer towards a new Camera, instead of shoes.

I think that sometimes we all need to take a step back and look at how we manage our time. Although Netflix is lovely, getting outside and going for a jog can be just as nice.

So this week I challenge you to take a look at your life. Is there anything you want to focus on more? Anything you should not spend so much time on?

With that moment of self-reflection, I'm going to sign off because I'm actually in Computer Class right now.

Until next time, Stay Random!!!
                - Shaye

P.S

Update on last weeks "Little Changes":
I've been sleeping more, but on on the weekends. As for everything else... I'm just going to restart them. I kind of failed. ;)

Infinite |Original Poem by Shaye Patton

Infinite



A thousand faces pass me everyday
They come in pairs

crowds

alone.

All being an infinite number of worlds away

no one being truly alike.

Yet, an overwhelming sense of emotion flows

through all veins

pulsing with anxiety

A sense of unknown

Unknown of the past

present

future.

All with an infinite amount of possibilities

Advice from a Handsome College Guy | Starting Senior Year

This is the last night of my 2014 summer vacation.

 Although I am pretty bummed that I will no longer be able to sleep to twelve in the morning and wear pajamas all day, I am kinda looking forward to this school year.  SENIOR YEAR. Aren't we suppose to be excited? 

Well to be quite honest, before about 11:00 this morning I wasn't as excited as most of my fellow 2015 graduates.  

See this past summer this looming,dark,frightening thought has been in the back of my head. WHAT COMES AFTER HIGH-SCHOOL? Although I talked about similar subjects in a previous blog,and attempted to overcome it, I still had doubt about my confidence in the subject.

I feel like senior year it finally starts to sink in that life is about to really happen, and you are in full control. There are other variables at play but in the end every decision you make takes you on a new path in life. I mean, it's a lot to handle.

But, like I said in my previous blog, I don't have much time to waste on being scared. So I have made attempts at trying to do things that I feel set me in the right direction for what I want in life, like this blog and my YouTube channel.  Even after that, thinking about senior year and life after high school was like walking into the abyss of unknown.

Until today, at approximately 11:00 am.

My friend who graduated about two years ago  just recently was hired where I work for the summer until he goes back to university at the end of the month. Over the past week that I've had the pleasure of working with him, he has given me some of the best advice I have ever received. 

1. Drama ends in high school, so avoid it 

2. If you're looking for love, you're never going to find it

3. Go with the flow and have fun

4. If you want something, don't stop working toward it, NO MATTER WHAT!

5. Bruno Mars makes everything a bit better

Now, I know that this advice is cliche and you've probably heard it thousands of times from your parents,grandparents,aunts,uncles, and cheesy 80s movies, and I know that these are all reliable sources for great advice, but for some reason it was different.  This advice being told from a 19 year old guy I went to high school with, for some reason, just resonated with me.

My friend, let's call him 'A' for the purposes of this blog(not that even knows this exist) 

My friend ,well, is average. Let me explain.

I was fortunate enough to enroll late my sophomore year and be scheduled in Fine Arts Survey, the only class left as an elective. Now, I was excited because I like art, but at my school only seniors take that class as a last resort for an art credit. This meant I was the only sophomore in a class full of seniors. Initially I was terrified but to my surprise that's when I first met 'A'. He was one of the first people who talked to me in that class. He has been one of the friendliest people I know, a social butterfly.

Now we weren't besties or anything but he was my friend.

'A' wound up dating one of my friends at the time, worked with him in theater productions, became friends with his younger brother, and now, I work with him.

From this you can see that he's just an average guy anyone would've gone to school with, apart from the fact that he is extremely handsome as well as extremely nice to lame sophomores(me), but apart from that he's just average.

But I think that is what's different from his advice. 

He isn't a grandparent whose had a lifetime of experiences to give that advice or an 80s movie which was written by a bunch of middle aged people who has had those same experiences.  

'A' is just young.

This is I think why his advice gave me more hope. He didn't need to wait a lifetime to no longer fear what comes next.  Leaving high-school was enough. 

Leaving high-school isn't the end of hopes and dreams for the future, it's the beginning of working for those hopes and dreams.

So as of 11:00 am this morning I have decided that I am excited for Senior year!

As of Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 7:22am I start working TOWARD what I want, NOT cowarding away.

And hopefully everything will work out. And maybe a year from now I will have discovered all of 'A's' advice and experiences for myself and encourage someone else to not fear the future but embrace it.

So with that I encourage you to take the advice given in this blog and maybe think about it every once in a while. Think about how letting go of drama could solve A LOT, think about how having fun in life is ah-mazing, think about your ambition,think about letting love find you not the other way around, and most of all, think about how much you LOVE Bruno Mars!

Well, until next time, STAY RANDOM!!!

                           -Shaye

PS

Sorry if I've been a bit repetitive, but this is the stuff on my mind, but I do have some other material planned, so stay tuned for some new topics. 

And if you follow me on YouTube I won't be uploading today because the footage was terrible so I have to re film this week.

Thoughts On Relationships, and My Lack of One

Recently I was at work and I was chatting to a friend,who is a bit older that me, and we were on the very discussed topic of boys. I was explaining to her how I'd love to have a boyfriend this upcoming senior year, and how I am pretty rubbish when it comes to "flirting" and all other things that come with catching a special someone's eye.  After confessing this very typical teenage girl insecurity she replied with, " The reason you don't have one is because you want one." Now before I indulge on my intense confusion and frustration with this statement, let me give you a bit of background.

Hi. My name is Shaye, I am 18, and I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been on a date or had a date to a school dance. My first, and only kiss, took place when I was 17 and was a stage kiss for a production of Cinderella and my co-star who I had to kiss was 4 years younger than me. 

Now before you assume that I'm saying this out of pity for myself or embarrassment, think again.  Now although 12 year old Shaye always dreamed of having that wonderful High School Musical-like romance that included dance numbers, singing and Zac Efron, I honestly don't regret where I stand on the romance experience chart.(except the whole musical number,because that would've been AWESOME).

Now I know I at this point I probably sound like Olive Penderghast from Easy A, but quite frankly Burt Royal hit the nail on the head when he wrote that movie. I mean who doesn't love 80's movies, The Scarlet Letter and Lobster Todd; but I digress from my affection for the film.

Honestly, though I am not upset that I haven't had a boyfriend thus far in my life, it would be nice to have one now. 

I am a hopeless romantic, I love LOVE and seeing couples makes me so happy. But, occasionally, I do get pretty bummed about it. My younger brother has been dating one of my best friends for more than a year, 

my uncle is about to get married, and my parents got married at 17 and have been together for over 25 years. Yet, here I am 3 years older than my parents were when they first met.

So naturally I have to wonder why I haven't met someone yet. I mean I'm not exactly looking for THE ONE just yet, but it would be nice to meet someone who fancies me as much as I fancy them.

Now back to the opening paragraph of this post. 

See after coming home and being confused and frustrated by what my friend said, I think I kinda sorted it out.  I don't think she was trying to tell me to stop wanting a relationship, I mean most teenagers do, but I think she was trying to say not to worry about it. With multiple romantic comedies to back me up on this, I think romance is unpredictable. 

Love, whether it's puppy love, first love, love at first sight, or old love; all love is magical. Cliche, yes, but it's the truth. As hard as we try to calculate love and match people up through a computer, nothing is more mysterious and unpredictable than love. 

So I think what my friend was trying to tell me is that I can't anticipate a relationship. When the right guy comes along to sweep me off my feet or just simply asks me on a date, the time will be right. Like anything in life, you can't rush it. Because the beauty in life is its numerous amounts of beautiful surprises.

Therefore I will wait patiently. I will still admire handsome boys and chat with those who are nice to chat with, but I won't worry about what that little chat could turn into. 

Quite frankly, I do love surprises. 

With that I encourage you to love LOVE even if you haven't quite found it yet,but more importantly, to remember that love doesn't always come in the form of a relationship. So spread all love as much as possible, and maybe you'll get a little back.

Well until next time, STAY RANDOM!

                 -Shaye

I also am STILL trying to figure out how to put my links to my social media on my actual blog page, but I'm not very tech savey.  So until then....

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ShayePeezy
Instagram: http://instagram.com/randomshaye
Tumblr: http://randomshaye.tumblr.com/   AND   http://surfingsunsets.tumblr.com/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/randomnessofshaye